Thick Hide Growth Factor

Rejection is an unfortunate part of trying to get published through any of the traditional routes, both New York and small press, and definitely when seeking an agent. I’ve had a few, and looking back on it, the work really wasn’t ready for prime time, or in one case, didn’t meet the specifications of the call.

Being turned down is said to be one of those growing experiences, and is rumored to help you survive the brickbats of a bad review.  Self-publishers who don’t run this particular gauntlet are at risk of a public meltdown, I’ve heard it said, but anyone who expects to get public feedback is at risk, even those of us whose rejections have been the “Thanks but no thanks” variety.

So as a public service, the Stoneslide Corrective has posted their Rejection Generator. Get enough rejection in the privacy of your own home without putting your written work on the line, and you, too, can survive the slings and arrows of a poopstorm review (or a job evaluation, or your mother in law’s opinions on your hairstyle…) with your smile intact. Seven varieties of rejection are available at any time, with new ones rotated in periodically, and they’ll send any or all your way.

This morning I toughened my hide with Destroy! Destroy! Destroy!

Dear Writer,

If we had the budget, we would hire one of the crews that cleans up toxic Superfund sites to visit your office and expunge all evidence of your attempts at writing. Perhaps we will apply for a federal grant. We’ll let you know.

The Editors

and The Thumper:

Dear Writer,

Apparently it wasn’t enough to waste your own time.

The Editors

Check back: they change periodically. After those and the other five dillies, nothing anyone else can say to me today will even make me twitch.



6 responses to “Thick Hide Growth Factor

  1. Rejection always sucks…I will have to check out this generator. Once you read them one might get more thicker skin to getting them if they do arrive.

    • At least there’s a ghost of a chuckle attached to these, because you don’t really have anything on the line. “The Southern Gentleman” rejection has a slow-fuse effect.

      • Yes there is….Some real rejections can be funny too. I’ve heard some stories…I once got one when I was green and thinking I rock that came from a NY pub with typos in it..

  2. I love that second one! Bwahahahahaha!

  3. Pingback: Stumbling Over Chaos :: Ligamentary, my dear linkity

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